Last year everything got messed up. I quited my major (wich I hated), and that led to me feeling useless and lonely. I spent most of the days inside the house, without talking to anyone. So I started restricting. This lasted for about 7-8 eight months.

I’d say I started recovery when I traveled to Germany. I spent there a whole month, and it gave me a chance to make new friends. I was so bussy and happy that I started to see food just like a fuel, something I had to eat in order to go on with my day.

But then I came back, and I wasn’t that bussy and happy anymore. I had gained weight and I was so scared about it. Since then (last June) I’ve been trying to recover. Sometimes it’s easy, sometimes not so much. 

Sometimes I want to be skinny as hell, and sometimes I just want to learn to love my body. But I don’t want to go back to where I was a year ago. I am sure about that.

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